An Endings Beginning

another odd fact about me was that sometimes my life had theme music, sometimes it was a popular song of the day but often it was like theme music theme music…lol Sometimes when I was running it would be that sound from the Bionic Man “Beennn nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh”, if I was climbing a tree it would be orchestra music from Indiana Jones “Dun dunanta dunantan duntan duntan dyantan duntan dun dun dun dun dun atan dun dunn dun dun duntan duntan duntan”, and on days that were just good it would be the theme from Greatest American Hero!

Two Sides of Motherhood

“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” – Gilda Radner I had to temporarily suspend my trip down memory lane and jump from 1977 to 2019. For some insane reason I decided going on a mini road trip with the…

All the Good

Looking back, I truly feel as if every time I thought I couldn’t make it or wanted to just drown myself in a sea of my own, tears something or someone wonderful would be integrated into my life. Most times it was ephemeral, but it was always enough to keep me in afloat with dryland in sight.

Cousins

  “Cousins are people that are ready made friends, you have laughs with them and remember good times from a young age, you have fights with them but you always know you love each other, they are a better thing than brothers and sisters and friends cause there all pieced together as one.” Courtney Cox…

Invisible girl

Laughter erupted! The next thing I know everyone was talking about my family living under bushes, being homeless, not having clothes, and on and on. I was so ashamed. I felt my heart beating in my chest as I tried to come up with a smart sassy rebuttal, but I didn’t have one.

Paper Dolls

“You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.” – Diana Ross As a child, Diana Ross could do no wrong in my eyes. She was beautiful, graceful, glamorous, and was a super star. To me, mother…

A place to call home

I used to imagine that the splattered seeds mixed with the green and white chunks of Osage-orange flesh were what brains on the pavement would look like. I thought that until a few kids and I stumbled on a bunch of blood and what appeared to be brain matter on the ground behind a building on our walk to school just about a week before. It was not the same, at all! We, I mean I, poked at some of the larger greyish chunks with a pencil from my bag. I was so fascinated by the soft and delicateness of it. It didn’t seem reasonable that this soft fragile mass could be the source of who we were. I could not comprehend what happened to the magic of the memories, thoughts, and love as the neurons that produced them lay in the street.

Burnt Toast

I loved being a chocolate baby doll, I remember hearing “You’re so cute!” “Look at those eyes!” and “You have a head full of hair.” I never heard the qualifier “you’re so cute, for a dark little girl” all I heard was “cute dark girl”. It wasn’t until kindergarten, I started associating my skin complexion…

Fade to Black

Life is crazy, one day you are reading encyclopedias at your grandma’s house and pretending to be an adventurer searching for treasure and the next you are holding a knife and yelling “get out or I will fucking kill you” at the top of your lungs. A lot can change in a very short span of time, the space between Raiders of the Lost Ark and Romancing the Stone was only about three years or so. After those three years my childhood ended, my life changed in so many ways…

1975

I’m a product of emancipation, civil rights movement, and the first real drug epidemic to hit the Black community. Before there was crack there was heroin. Of course I was way too young to realize any of this, all I knew I was safe, full, and not wanting for anything living with my grandparents and…