Charmane’s blog – Page 5 – Deliberately dope

Two Sides of Motherhood

“Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary—it’s an act of infinite optimism.” – Gilda Radner I had to temporarily suspend my trip down memory lane and jump from 1977 to 2019. For some insane reason I decided going on a mini road trip with theContinue reading “Two Sides of Motherhood”

Cousins

“Cousins are people that are ready made friends, you have laughs with them and remember good times from a young age, you have fights with them but you always know you love each other, they are a better thing than brothers and sisters and friends cause there all pieced together as one.” Courtney CoxContinue reading “Cousins”

Burnt Toast

I loved being a chocolate baby doll, I remember hearing “You’re so cute!” “Look at those eyes!” and “You have a head full of hair.” I never heard the qualifier “you’re so cute, for a dark little girl” all I heard was “cute dark girl”. It wasn’t until kindergarten, I started associating my skin complexionContinue reading “Burnt Toast”

1975

I’m a product of emancipation, civil rights movement, and the first real drug epidemic to hit the Black community. Before there was crack there was heroin. Of course I was way too young to realize any of this, all I knew I was safe, full, and not wanting for anything living with my grandparents andContinue reading “1975”

Fear Part 2… Weight or Motivator

Fear is a powerful mind fuck. For over two weeks I found myself in the grips of fear over my mammogram results. My first appointment was canceled and instead of me searching for the silver lining, fear dug it’s claws in deeper. I promise I can feel the undiagnosed cancer spreading through my body. IContinue reading “Fear Part 2… Weight or Motivator”

Fear, My Super Power

I’m suppose to be writing about my past, my childhood. Reflecting on how other’s life choices effected my past, but on the eve of test to see if I might have breast cancer, I can’t stop thinking about what my future might look like. How procrastination will adversely effect my children. I’m so fucking angryContinue reading “Fear, My Super Power”

Memories

In high school I was left a memory in the Last Will and Testament of my senior year book. That year, while juggling two part time jobs, an internship with IBM, a relationship and high school I managed to forget every single thing that I was supposed to remember. Every day when I climbed on the bus that would transport me and my classmates toContinue reading “Memories”