Evolve or Die

Weird fact about me I am kind of into anime. I came to it late in life (in my late 30s) not in my teen years like most. So NO, I do not like Dragon Ball, Pokemon, or Naruto! My first anime was Death Note, but one of my first fighting anime was Bleach.  What…

Unconditional Love

Have you ever thought about the first time you heard the term, “unconditional love” or did you experience it before knowing what it was?  I remember hearing the term and at first thinking I never experienced it, but then with further thought I realized that there isn’t only one way to experience the concept of…

What a Difference a Year (and a lot of reflection) Makes

Time is an amazing phenomenon. When we were young time was an exercise experienced with tremendous agony. Everything seemed to take an eternity, and anything that lasted one second longer than we expected was absolute torture. As we age time speeds up and we long for the ability to squeeze more moments out of every second.

What I Learned Year One

Starting Delibertly Dope with my best friend has been a real adventure. We started it, because for years we both talked about writing a book about our lives and never moved forwarded with anything purposeful. Then we talked about our individual blogs, I think I kind of invited myself to participate in with her on…

Pancake Sundays

My journey to find a spiritual home started when I was a kid living with my mother in Chicago.  We would visit different churches of different denominations.  Around 1985 my mother visited a Christian Science Church, I continued to attend even when I left St. Louis and was living in New York with my grandparents,…

The Child That Never Was…

I had a movie in my mind of what my life would be. I would be intentional, I would plan, and I would move from one stage of life to the next in a well-orchestrated way. I would not be like my mom or dad! I would use the bad examples provided by my aunts,…

What’s Cooking

Entering into 2020 I am trying to figure out what I will be writing about moving forward.  I was talking to my best friend aka Latrice, she asked what is it about cooking that makes me light up.  She stated that she observed the way I write about my 14-year-old daughter when she cooks and how I…

Happy New Year

So once again, I fell off with my posts. Writing about my past almost sent me to counseling, thank God I have a best friend that I can work my shit out and talk through some stuff. But I still ended up with a major writing block. I really did not want to finish my…

The Mechanized Era

During these years there were so many pieces of myself placed on the shelf. So many of my wants and needs that I pushed aside in an effort to be a good wife and mother. I don’t know how people say things like “I have no regrets” and have that be an actual true statement. It sounds nice but the reality is there will always be things that we regret, things that we wish we had done differently. I really regret not making my wants, needs, and desires a priority. I consistently put myself last in the hopes that my sacrifice would be recognized or rewarded at some later date. The problem with that is if all we have is now later never arrives. This was perfect breeding ground for resentment.

The Golden Era

We were married on a Thursday in September, on the very cliffs where we had blown dandelions only a few months earlier. Of course, there were a couple of hiccups, like the photographer got lost, the violinist never showed, and the little white carpet for the isle didn’t get put down until the last second. None of that changed the fact that we were getting married. The carpet was put in place just as the photographer finally found us and the show went on even without the violin’s music wafting through the air. I was happy. We chose to keep things simple, there was no need for flowers or decorations. We had a beautiful sunset, rocky cliffs, and the ocean no need to embellish the natural beauty of the day.