My journey to find a spiritual home started when I was a kid living with my mother in Chicago. We would visit different churches of different denominations. Around 1985 my mother visited a Christian Science Church, I continued to attend even when I left St. Louis and was living in New York with my grandparents,…
Entering into 2020 I am trying to figure out what I will be writing about moving forward. I was talking to my best friend aka Latrice, she asked what is it about cooking that makes me light up. She stated that she observed the way I write about my 14-year-old daughter when she cooks and how I…
“Tears are words that need to be written.” P. Coelho
According to Plato’s, The Symposium, humans were originally created with two sets of arms, two sets legs and a head with two faces. They were very powerful in this form and that power generated fear in the Gods. To diminish their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts. weakening and condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. This was how I imagined Adrian and I, instead of just regular humans I imagined us to be more of a two headed Godzilla.
Breaking out of the box you have been in is definitely going to be hard. However, it will never be as torturous as dying the slow death caused by pretending that you like the box.
Adrian and I had a small disagreement about where we should get dropped off for the day. I didn’t really think anything of it initially it was just a simple hey we should get off here instead of there because of x,y,z kind of thing. He reluctantly agreed but did not utter a single word to me the remainder of the time we were in Paris. What I believed would be our first dream trip had become one of our last and a nightmare.
During these years there were so many pieces of myself placed on the shelf. So many of my wants and needs that I pushed aside in an effort to be a good wife and mother. I don’t know how people say things like “I have no regrets” and have that be an actual true statement. It sounds nice but the reality is there will always be things that we regret, things that we wish we had done differently. I really regret not making my wants, needs, and desires a priority. I consistently put myself last in the hopes that my sacrifice would be recognized or rewarded at some later date. The problem with that is if all we have is now later never arrives. This was perfect breeding ground for resentment.
Have you ever had a day that was planned, but life found opportunities to be in the moment? Today was one of those days for me. My day was planned… Get the kids out for the bus without them killing each other, get dress, write today’s post, and go see the movie Harriet. First thing…
I will say this, I’m hoping that sharing my story will help me feel free and fly.
One night before bed, Ms. Brown came into the girls room with a large black trash bag. We looked around to see who was leaving. You have to understand, being a foster kid at Ms. Brown’s isn’t perfect, but it’s almost as close you can find in Chicago. The hope is to stay here until it’s time to go home.