The virus, the run on stores, the police violence, the riots, the race-baiting, and on and on! It seemed to me that my desire to understand was met with a full-on dump of social chaos for me to sift through. Searching for a logical starting point I chose hate. Hate seems to influence everything in the media and political world. People in the streets appeared to harbor deep and long-lived attachments to hate, passed from generation to generation silently lurking and waiting for an opportunity to have its day in the sunshine. The negativity of it all oozed through my pores and I began to come to the realization that hate has always been and will always be. I wanted to know the source of hate, was there someplace in our very DNA that directed human hatred?
I spoke previously about my adventurous spirit, my youthful desires to embark on an epic journey. While I was never able fully realize my dreams of becoming the next Indiana Jones, I do set out for a mini adventure at least once a year. This was going to be an epic adventure year! I plannedContinue reading “Spirited Away…. The beginning”
I had always known how difficult raising children would be and I knew that raising them alone would be even more difficult. My ability to plan helped with the logistics but children require so much more than a logistical task master. They need a person to talk to. Some one to teach them what life is about. They need more than food, clothes, and shelter. Children need to be loved. Loved and parented so that they can grow, live, and pass that love on to the next generation. Sounds simple but I wasn’t raised that way. I did’t feel that I possed enough love for myself, so there was definitely not enougy to be pass on to the next generation.
Fear had become a part of me, like a vestigial organ, hiding in the space between my heart and my lungs. Serving no purpose and providing no benefit at this point in my evolution. It would squeeze my heart just a bit to keep me from fully experiencing joy, reminding me to not get comfortable or let my guard down because pain was sure to arrive soon. It would push all the air out of my lungs and leave me gasping for oxygen when I began to consider the possibility that I was enough, conditioning me so I would know that I was not…