I was always the one that ended things. I would stop the abandonment from happening. I cannot recall a time in my life where the other party ended a relationship with me (this happened before Mr. kayak). I ALWAYS did the leaving. I would never allow it to happen. NEVER. I had become something like an oracle or a prophet. I would always be analyzing the relationship and gaging where we were to ensure if things took a turn that I would be the one to recognize the inevitable end and snuff things out in a logical manner. Not this time. I let it be what it was. I didn’t try to organize it or plan how it would end. He simple moved on and I accepted it.
A teacher can speak to you about information and knowledge but cannot give you their own understanding.
I was googling around and decided to look up baby momma. I knew there would be many ah rap song and other ridiculous videos dedicated to baby mommas. I knew there was a movie titled Baby Momma staring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I also knew there was a baby momma dance. What I did…
Love is another one of the words that I have struggled to truly understand. I grew up in an environment where I didn’t feel loved in the way stories, movies, and TV shows described it. I knew my parents cared about me, but I honestly didn’t feel loved and therefore had no real-life reference for what love actually felt like or really was. I had only the perfect stories from sources not based in reality. The sad part is while I longed for that perfect love, deep down I didn’t feel that I deserved it or would ever actually have it.