I am blocked. It’s not a true writer’s block, more like I might not be ready to deal with the aftermath kinda block. The first eight years, I was able to romanticize the abandonment I felt as a result of both parents not being in my life. I skipped through the sexual molestation I experiencedContinueContinue reading “Price of Telling Your Story”
Tag Archives: family
Pro Life’s Choices
It is hard to believe that in 2019, several states have successfully criminalized abortion. I currently live in Missouri who has only one abortion clinic in the state and last week the State Senate submitted a bill that would make it illegal to terminate a pregnancy after the 8th week. In 1992, my boyfriend JosephContinueContinue reading “Pro Life’s Choices”
Moving Time
Our apartment was a shabby unit in a four family flat her granddad owned. We furnished it with golden velvety sofas, wonderful old-school tables, and art donated from her family. We were grown! Hah! We had people over, we worked, we went to school, and we did as we pleased.
M&Ms
There was as a buzz of excitement in my world, my mother was traveling from Chicago to pick me up so I can go to stay with her and my little sister in Chicago (apparently I have a little brother too, but I never met him). Grams had managed to find my a full luggageContinueContinue reading “M&Ms”
My Teen Age Mind
During lunch, we sat together and often talked about gossip. There was a girl at school who had gone down on a boy! Everyone was talking about it saying things like “don’t let her drink out of your soda!” We had a whole panel discussion about how we would never do such a thing and what extremes it would take for us to EVER consider it. This is so funny and was definitely a different time, all the scenarios involved a gun, a knife, a bat, or marriage!! We were young and thought we knew what was, what should be, and what would be. In reality, we had no idea at all.
A Familiar Kind of Love
More than anything I wanted to be loved. I wanted to know that somebody truly loved me. I craved to feel of value to another person, mostly because I was unsure of my value. I knew all the catch phrases, I knew that I was beautiful inside and out, I knew that I was supposed to love myself, I knew that I was in charge of my own happiness, and I really believed those things but only on a surface level.
Doll House
So all year the focus was on miniature furniture. There was an antique sewing machine, a mahogany dining table with chairs, a four poster bed and a kitchen table. I then watched Grams make table clothes, small bath towels with tiny pink flowers and linens. I watched the collection grow bigger every month. She would polish every piece and place them in shoeboxes. I was always impressed with the details put into every item. I wonder what type of person had that much patience and creativity to be able to create every item. I was convinced at one point that there was a factory of little elves making warehouse filled with manicure furniture.
I Use to Love H.E.R
I said a hip hop Hippie to the hippie The hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it out Bubba to the bang bang boogie, boobie to the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie the beat With that, I was hooked. I didn’t understand what it was, all I know thatContinueContinue reading “I Use to Love H.E.R”
Grease
Going to the movies is one of my favorite experiences. Walking up to the theater, staring at the marquee, going through the heavy double doors and past the red velvet ropes. From the smell of popcorn and butter, to anticipation of the movie. The escape from a current reality is the most promising part ofContinueContinue reading “Grease”
Unpack
You can’t just take a kid from a bad situation and plop them into a better environment and expect them to act as if they had always lived that life. You can’t expect them to just be grateful to be there and adjust. They have so much to unpack. Clothes and whatever other tawdry belongings they might have will be swiftly and neatly stowed away. What remains in the darkest unseen corners of the last trash bag they brought with them is all the years of pain, hurt, shame, and anger they have been dragging behind them. I stayed away and didn’t tell them where I was that weekend. I returned after school that Monday, I knew that I probably wouldn’t live there long, and I knew I didn’t want to go back to my mom. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt numb nothing mattered except finishing school, so I could get into a college to get away from everyone and everything I knew
Deliberately dope 