Surrender

I actually just looked up the words surrender and submit and almost had a panic attack. It was all this talk of “yielding” power and control. To willingly give oneself up to another, to allow something to happen to you! There was also talk about the person you are surrendering or submitting to being more powerful or having authority over you! The surrendered party having admitted defeat because they were not powerful enough to resist! I do not know how this is humanly possible outside of an actual battle where one surrenders or submits so that they might survive to fight another day. I don’t know that I have the capacity to surrender to another human at this point in my life.

All the Good

Looking back, I truly feel as if every time I thought I couldn’t make it or wanted to just drown myself in a sea of my own, tears something or someone wonderful would be integrated into my life. Most times it was ephemeral, but it was always enough to keep me in afloat with dryland in sight.